Friday, 22 May 2015

Large hatted Selfridge bitches (and other fashion quandaries)

Have you ever shopped at Selfridges?  When in London, the stroll down Oxford street is a must.  I usually begin at speakers corner and watch the freak show for a bit, then head down the street to see what I can find in London’s famous retail district.  I look everywhere, but more often than not, the only place I spend much money, is at Selfridges.

So when I found out that Jeremy Piven was starring in a made for British television series about the American who founded the store, naturally I binge watched all 3 seasons.  Set in the early 20th century, one of the things that jumps out are the fashions of the day, in particular, the hats.

Everywhere you look there are women in elaborate and very expensive looking hats.  Obviously, hats were the lust-have fashion accessory of the period, and that made me wonder, did women back then give each other cut eye the way they do now?

When lady Somethingham arrived at the soiree with yet another new hat from Paris, did the other women endlessly eyefuck her hat the way I see girls do today over shoes and bags? 

Would lady Jealousbitch and lady Talksalot give each other that same sideways look they would today?  You know the look, the one that says who did she sleep with to get that?

Was a floofy hat with extra large feathers the equivalent of a Chanel bag or a pair of Blahniks?

Don't get me wrong, I have always been a firm believer that smart men give epic gifts, but was that the biggest move they had back in the day?  Hi there, you're beautiful, can I buy you a hat? 

Sadly (for the Milliners), hats have not survived the test of time.  Now bags and shoes rule the day, but when did they become the only fashion items that mattered?  I thought true fashionistas were into all fashion?  Lately I keep seeing girls showcasing $5000 worth of bags and shoes along with a $14 outfit from H&M.  It’s very confusing.

And while we are on the topic of shoes and bags, what about this whole spikey trend?  I keep seeing the shoes, bras and even bags with spikes all over them.  They are pretty hot, but I wonder if girls know the origins of the style?  Any dog breeder can tell you, it comes from breeding larger more aggressive breeds of dogs.  They put spiked collars on the necks of the dogs to prevent them from biting each other (because that is where dogs bite when they go for the kill).  Are we to deduce from the spikey fashion trend that girls fear their new shoes are so hot that other girls will be so jealous that it will lead them to literally lunge at your feet with fangs drawn?


For sure I could see that a boy might, for example, lose control at the site of the spikey bra but alas, I don't think that this inexcusable behaviour would have very much to do with his love for fashion.

The real question remains, would a girl literally gnaw your arm off at the shoulder just to get at a handbag?   Ok, sure, why not.  Nothing would surprise me anymore when it comes to the ladies with their Loubs and Berkins.



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