If Ken can't even keep Barbie, what chance do the rest of us have?

Many of you have been asking me to share the first page of Boys are Stupid.  Sure, why not.

I wanted to start the book off by talking about a couple that everyone knows, and tried to poke a bit of fun at the problems that many of us face, from the point of view of the man, of course.  So here it is….with a few pictures added….hope you enjoy!

There have been many iconic couples.

Perhaps none more universally recognized than Ken and Barbie.  Although they lived in the spotlight, away from prying eyes, I’m certain they were faced with many of the same problems as the rest of us.  

We all know Barbie as a trendsetter, and like most beautiful women, she must have certain expectations.  Ken always did his best, but I’m sure it was difficult to keep a girl like Barbie happy when he had no career, and no penis.

Over the years, he has been a policeman, a fireman, a pilot.  He’s tried his hand as a scuba instructor, a roller skater, even a cross-country skier, but poor Ken never seemed to be able to stick with any one thing for very long. 

Barbie was getting tired of waiting for him to get his shit together.  She wasn’t happy, and when a girl isn’t happy, she will always speak to her friends before she speaks to you.

She probably discussed it over hazelnut macchiato with her best friends Midge and Stacey.  They almost certainly agreed that she was simply outgrowing him.  At this stage in her life, she deserved CEO Ken, not part time lifeguard Ken. 

There was only one thing left to do. 

Barbie let him take her for lunch, at that trendy new little place that everyone was raving about, and she broke it off.  It was really sad, but the lobster spoons were excellent.

It didn’t matter that it was only two days before valentines, or that he had been there for her through thick and thin for 43 years.  She said it wasn’t him, and that she just needed to be on her own, for a while.  Ken took it like a man, and they parted as friends.

A few days later, Barbie announced to the world that she was now with a hunky Australian surfer, named Blaine.

Surely Ken must have felt betrayed.  It just didn’t make any sense.  If his career wasn’t good enough, why would Barbie leave him for a surfer?  I’m sure he was heartbroken, but he would have to accept the truth.  She wasn’t coming back.  Barbie had upgraded, and women rarely come back from the dreaded upgrade.

In 2004, when I heard about all this, I remember thinking, if Ken can’t even keep Barbie, what chance do the rest of us have?

taken from Boys are Stupid

*I need to add a footnote.  Since I wrote that, Barbie changed her mind and officially decided to take Ken back!  Stay tuned for more….