Tape is NOT an outfit

You've probably seen it.  For the past couple years, the world wide web has been flooded with them.  From Burbank to Belarus, aspiring models are clambering to strike their best zoolander poses adorned in little more than electrical tape.

I know that tape has long been part of the female wardrobe, but I was pretty sure that until now it was never in the starring role (or should i say roll?).  It was always, more or less, behind the scenes, not on your behind.

How did it this get started?  It probably went down something like this:  Some rocket scientist (unemployed landscaper) met some girl online and told her he was a photographer.  He borrowed a camera and set up a photoshoot.  With his limited experience, he hadn't thought ahead about any styling options, so when she asked what was today's wardrobe going to be?  He looked around his studio (parents garage) and the best he could come up with was a trusty roll of Temflex Nylon 1700.

Gradually (25 minutes later), thanks to the miracle of social media, other girls saw these first shots and the trend began.  Other duct tape daVinci's took up the challenge and dedicated themselves to the craft.  What a fine upstanding group of young men they must be.  Surely these are the sort of guys you want your daughter to meet?  Look at these guys, they are hard at work, literally toiling over her every nook and cranny.  I wonder what happens when they have artistic differences?  "Bro, I'm not happy with what you've done on her inner left ass cheek, its just not working for me."  When I was in school, I don't recall "dude who puts hockey tape on naked girls" being part of the list of options on career day?  If it were, I think there would have been more than a few takers.

Or what if she needs to pee?  That must be an adventure.  If girls are now completely ok with wearing electrical tape, what could be next?  Bubble wrap?  Butterscotch pudding?  "Hey you're beautiful, I can't wait to cover you with Aluminum siding!  But first, hold still, I need to rub superglue all over your hoohaw.  It's ok baby, trust me, I'm an artist."

What is the end game here?  I mean, for the girl (I'm pretty sure we can all guess the end game for the "artist").  Is she going to become an electrical tape supermodel?  Land the cover of the home depot catalogue? or?  what? get discovered?  By who?  3M?  In contrast, unless it has something to do with a sports injury, or a halloween costume, men don't wear tape.  Ever.  If some girl tried to come near my balls with sticky tape, she would quickly find herself on a list ofthose girls (the ones I avoid).

As laughable as this entire phenomenon seems, rest easy.  Like all trends, it can't last forever.  In the meantime, karma wins the day.  I would love to see the look on her face after a night of partying in the club when she finally realizes that now she has to pull all that tape off.  Ouch.  But hey, I'm sure it was worth it.  Riiiiiight.